The blog has been up for awhile now, but only in the past few months did I start adding content. As I’ve started to publish more and more on my platform, I’m finding more areas for clarification. In terms of the platform in itself, I want to address who it’s for. In this post I’m sharing a little about myself and my own struggles, as well as addressing some of the “underground depths” of the internet.
About My Life
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve struggled with severe depression my whole life – since I was a kid. I’m not saying this for pity, but I want people to know that there are other people out there that can relate to what they’re going through and what they have been through. In many contexts, we hear about depression as something that can be easily managed, and rarely do we address what happens when you can’t manage it.
Personally, my life moves like a skateboarder pushing up a hill – sometimes it’s really slow & challenging, and sometimes it’s intense & rewarding (going down the hill). But the reality is that I spent quite a few years just sulking in my depression – I wasn’t pushing the skateboard up the hill, I was kind of just saying the hill was too big to even start. I’ve been depressed since a kid, but it wasn’t until after I actually sought treatment and got help that I accepted it. Furthermore, before I did anything positive with that, I was in a really dark place.
Setting The Scene
So let me set the stage a little bit. I was going to college, winter was approaching, and I was living alone in an apartment. I had no friends, just a girlfriend at the time. My depression was getting worse and it was taking so much out of me just to appear in front of people in a classroom. I distinctly remember arriving to class and just being so embarrassed because of how sweaty I was, and I was sweaty because I was nervous to be around people. As I would walk to class, the anticipation would just continue to build.
These were the circumstances as I sought treatment, and we’ll be talking a lot more about what to expect from treatment on this blog.
Moving on, my anxiety was getting the better of me, and the depression was taking over. I started skipping class and drinking alone in the apartment – this lead to a whole plethora of problems, but my reason for sharing is because I became a very active member of a very dark part of the internet.
For help with those anticipatory jitters, take a look at my article Managing Anticipatory Anxiety.
You did what now?
There are places on the internet – I guess you could call them blogs – where people are posting and sharing some truly horrific things. They’re posting photos & videos of them harming themselves or relatable quotes that might share how they feel – often numb. They’re feeding a pessimistic world view and the idea that no one cares about them.
More often than not, they’re people that don’t have anyone to talk to. Sometimes they’re too scared to seek treatment. Sometimes it’s their parents making them feel worse, or like treatment isn’t an option because it means admitting there’s something wrong with them. They’re often people who don’t have friends or who have only surrounded themselves with really questionable people – often resulting in abusive relationships.
These corners of the internet are essentially communities of extremely isolated, dark people. They cut themselves and they share it for likes. Self-harm becomes their addiction. Essentially, they all help one another feed their depression. The reality is, they don’t even understand what’s happening to them. The majority of these people don’t have support systems and don’t know who to turn to or how to cope. So they take to the internet – which is one of the most dangerous choices they could make.
I created this platform specifically to help those people. Because the reality is that a lot of those people don’t make it out. And that’s the harsh truth. They wallow in their illnesses until a very bitter end. And I know, because I was one of those people. At 21, I was rushed to the hospital after an attempt on my life. I had attempted many times before, but this time was essentially calculated self-mutilation – I made small incisions in my wrists, and then went back into these incisions and severed my arteries.
When you’re in toxic relationships and you feel like you don’t have anyone to turn to, the basic tasks of life become so unimportant to you. We become so unhappy with everything around us that we accept ourselves as just one more thing that we’re unhappy with. But I don’t think it’s until we pick ourselves up and start completing those tasks that we really understand how big of a role they play.
So, what is the blog actually going to do?
The blog is a place for me to have some fun, obviously, but also to teach some of these people to pull themselves out of it. Out of the negative and self-destructive programming that they’re receiving with their time on these platforms. The list below highlights some of the basic tasks of life that I want to address and help people with on this blog.
- Changing your bed sheets
- Cleaning (washing dishes, vacuuming, etc.)
- Cooking (How to cook and how to make a balanced meal)
- Folding clothes
- How much water to drink
- How to be in a relationship
- How to exercise and for what (cardio vs. lifting)
- How to find a form of exercise you like
- How to handle a breakup
- How to manage money & handle / prepare for taxes
- How to treat people / talk to them
- How to treat yourself
- Learning how to manage stress
- Self-respect / self-love
- The importance of learning about yourself
- What a healthy relationship is
- What is and isn’t private
- What it means to be romantic with someone
- What you should and shouldn’t eat
- What you should look for in a partner
- Why self talk is important
Okay, so you’re going to teach people some of the basics of life?
Kind of. These are just some of the topics that people don’t normally talk about. In my own experiences I learned that a lot of depression is really exaggerated by not being happy with yourself or the situation that you’re in, or even the people around you. It has a lot to do with the way we live, and unfortunately many of us aren’t willing to listen to our inner voice to figure that out. My platform is intended to make people think.
My hope is that by teaching people to take better care of themselves, they’ll start to get the motivation that they need to do bigger and better things. There’s a lot of voiceless people out there that are backed into a corner with no help, living day after day just getting beaten up by their illnesses. The biggest problem here is that they’re not going to go to the Doctor, nobody is going to push them to get there, and they don’t even know what to do with themselves – there’s no one there to tell them to stop feeding that negative mindset. THAT’S why What’s Going On With Jon is here.
My blog is intended to be a tool that can help people as they go about their lives managing mental illnesses. The platform is dedicated to teaching people how to be a healthier person, and teaching how to “adult” – because honestly most adults don’t know how to adult.